Um, What?

May 19 - ABC can't be serious about National Bingo Night. They just can't.

I know this is the network that gave the green light to a sitcom about the Gieco cavemen, but still. Bingo? There's a reason bingo is a popular game at churches and nursing homes. It's boring. It's safe. Nobody gets into fights playing bingo. Nobody's heart gives out playing bingo. It's a little bit of fun to win, and yell out "bingo!" But actually playing bingo is about as exciting as finding a quarter in your pocket, so how exciting can it be watching somebody find a quarter in their pocket?

Watching bingo makes watching golf seem like watching game seven of the Stanley Cup finals. How could they possibly, possibly think wrapping show-biz glitz, an audience and screaming, borderline deranged contestants around bingo could produce a watchable show? What's next for ABC? National Tiddlywinks Night?

Given that my ability to call winners and loser isn't so great - I thought "The War at Home" wouldn't last three episodes - National Bingo Night will probably be as big as "Deal or No Deal."

You'd think the game show genre hit absolute zero with "Show Me the Money." But then the bar was lowered - somebody had to dig a trench in the ground to get it lower - with "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" And now even that devolved position is being challenged by "National Bingo Night."

Actually, I don't even like game shows, although I have to admit it was relatively entertaining watching William Shatner make up the rules as he went along. And isn't it funny how every new game show looks exactly like the set form "The Running Man"?

Good luck with the new show, ABC. Hope you've got a summer replacement lined up.

- Paul Vigna