Everybody Blogs
At Rachel's

May 30 - Seems like just about every movie these days is a sequel, or a remake, or a prequel. Soon enough we'll have nothing but mash ups; nobody'll even make movies anymore, it'll all just be user-generated mash ups. Lawrence of Arabia meets the Three Amigos.

The three biggest movies this summer, so far at least, are all the third installment of a franchise. If they're not sequels, they're remakes. If they're neither of those, they're - usually even worse - prequels.

So here's my idea for a sequel: "Casablanca: The Lost Treasure." It's a well-paced romantic thriller that ties together one of the most famous story lines of all time. It's got multi-demographic potential. I'm telling you, pure gold.

In this one, Ilsa’s grandson, Victor, played by Shia LeBouf, is off to find his grandparents fortune, a treasure his granfather - Victor Lazlo - carried around while running from the Nazis and which he had to leave behind when he fled Casablanca with Ilsa.

When the young Victor arrives in Casablanca to claim his birthright, he runs into the mysterious Rachel Blaine, played by Rose McGowan, a tough businesswoman who operates the most popular Internet cafe in Casablanca. Sparks fly. But there’s trouble from the local authorities, who want the treasure as well. A mysterious Arabian trader (played by James Woods) might know the location of the treasure, or he may spell the young lovers’ doom.

With James Earl Jones as Signor Fratelli

Huh? Solid gold, right?

- Paul Vigna